Too Close For Comfort
by Rach1989
Summary: When Blaine breaks up with Rachel out of the blue, just weeks before Nationals, she feels heartbreak like never before. But is there more to their break up than what Rachel was originally led to believe?


**A New Blainchel one-shot based on the song 'Too Close For Comfort' (I'm original with titles, right?) anyway, it's sung by a british boy-band McFLY. Go check them out on YouTube, it's a good song. I've listened to it a lot while writing this. Anyway, let me know what you think, I've been writing this for the past week, and if any of you follow me on Tumblr you would've probably have seen the previews I've been posting.**

**Enjoy and review x**

* * *

><p>Rachel lay alone in her room, it was dark outside and her dads had been asleep for hours, but Rachel was wide-awake. Her heart was aching as she continued to stare at the same couple of photos over and over again. She hadn't seen it coming at all; she had thought that they were happy; they looked like the perfect couple. That was why it came as such a shock to her when Blaine announced that it was time that they called their relationship time. She thought he was joking of course but the serious expression on his face told her otherwise, and she'd been living in this nightmare ever since. Everything reminded her of him, he was everywhere. Every song she played on her iPod made her think of him in some way, and caused her heart to ache even more. School only caused her more heartbreak, she just couldn't find any way to avoid him when they were there, they ran in the same circle, and while she tried to keep her distance it was easier said than done. She'd never grieved over a boy as much as this, but the few relationships that she'd had before Blaine hadn't even come close to how she felt about this one. Her relationship with Jesse might have hurt when they had ended things, but she'd gotten over him pretty quickly and soon found herself in Finn's arms. But Blaine was different; he had caught her off guard and what started off as a simple friendship turned into a whirlwind romance, and Rachel knew that he was what she had been looking for all this time. Not Jesse, not Finn, but Blaine – it had always been Blaine. She knew it wasn't healthy to be behaving like this, she wasn't eating properly, she was barely sleeping, just muddling her way through the day. She had lost her spirit, her fathers were worried about her of course, but she couldn't help the longing that the felt whenever she heard Blaine's name.<p>

It had been two weeks since the break up and Rachel still hadn't moved on, quite frankly it was driving Kurt insane.

"You really need to get over him, Rachel," he told her one afternoon as they headed to Glee rehearsal, Rachel sighed quietly but didn't respond, when she had first told him of the break up he had comforted her, but he hadn't really understood what she was going through, and soon the comfort had turned into annoyance, "We're heading to New York in a few months," he paused and turned to face her, noticing that she was lagging behind, "You did mail in your acceptance letter, didn't you?" Rachel bit her lip but refused to meet her friend's eye, he let out an exasperated sigh and walked towards her, placing an arm around her shoulders, she let out a sob that she hadn't been aware that she'd been holding onto and buried her head into his coat

"I know it's hard Rachel, but you do need to continue with life, you can't put it on hold because you're hurting inside," she sniffed quietly and lifted her head, her tear filled eyes meeting his for the first time.

"I was going to put it off for a year, I wanted to wait until he could come with me," she told him, "I just couldn't stand the idea of leaving him behind," she stared crying loudly, she'd never told anyone this before, she hadn't even told Blaine, she was going to tell him the day that he'd ended things with her, but she'd never got the chance, now her acceptance letters were still sitting in her desk draw, the same place she had left them two weeks ago.

"Oh honey," Kurt soothed, rubbing comforting circles into his friend's back, "You will get over this, I promise." Rachel sniffed gratefully, giving him a sad tear filled smile,

"I just miss him so much," she sobbed,

"I know you do,"

"I've been going through everything in my head, trying to think what I could have possibly done wrong," Rachel continued, "I love him Kurt!"

Kurt nodded and continued to comfort his friend, as much as he was annoyed by her behavior he still felt incredibly bad for her. He to had been stunned over their break up, they had been an overly sweet couple, no one had seen it coming, and he was struggling to console her. He wanted to make her feel better, make her smile again, but he knew that it wouldn't be happening for a long time soon.

"It will get easier, you know?" he smiled at her as they heard laughing from the opposite end of the hallway, Rachel strained her ears, she'd know that laugh any where, that laugh had cheered her up so many times before, her heart ached again as she thought about him again. She stared, as he got closer, laughing with Sam and Mike as they made their way towards the choir room. Kurt squeezed her tighter as Blaine got closer, Sam and Mike walked inside first, but Blaine held back and stared at Rachel for a second, her heart frozen in time as their eyes met for the first time in two weeks, he gave her a small smile and nodded his head slightly before following his friends inside. Rachel exhaled loudly and something inside of her snapped. After everything they'd been through together, everything they had shared, that was all she was entitled to? A sad smile and a courteous nod? That was it? While she had been grieving for the relationship that they had shared, he'd been laughing with his friends without a care in a world?

"You okay?" Kurt asked quietly, when they were alone again. Rachel nodded and removed herself from Kurt's grasp; she wiped her eyes defiantly and took a deep breath.

"Tell Mr. Schue that I had to go home, I won't be at rehearsal today," she told him, "I'm relying on you to make sure that Santana or Mercedes don't try and steal my solos for Nationals." Kurt stood staring at her as she walked off into the distance, his mouth slightly a gape. It took him a minute to regain himself before he stared frantically chasing after her.

"Rachel, where are you going?" he shouted.

"I've got some things I need to take care of, I'll call you later!" she didn't bother waiting for him to respond as she pushed open the main door and strode purposefully towards her car. Kurt smiled after her and nodded, Rachel Berry had finally got her sparkle back and she was on mission. He was finally getting his best friend back.

At home that afternoon, Rachel found herself ridding herself of anything that could possibly remind her of Blaine Anderson, discarded movie stubs from their first date, photos taken in the photo booth at the mall, the same few photos that she had spent so many nights crying over all gone. She pulled out an old shoe box from underneath her bed, throwing everything inside, she opened her closet her hand lurched forward to instantly grab Blaine's old Dalton sweatshirt, she faltered for a moment and brought it to her nose and inhaled deeply, taking in his familiar comforting scent one final time, before screwing it up and throwing it into the box. She knew deep down that she should really throw this box out, it wasn't worth holding onto to it for any longer, but she wasn't ready for that just yet. She was moving on, but only on her own terms. So instead she moved the box down into the basement with the rest of her belongings that she had grown out of, she'd get rid of it when the time was right. But for now she could rest knowing that she had rid her room of Blaine Anderson, but she could also be comforted by the knowledge that it was there if ever she had a moment of weakness and wanted to give into her hearts constant aching for him. Finally she retreated back to her bedroom and sat down at her desk, opening the top draw and pulling out her NYADA acceptance letter. She stared at it, pen in hand as she read through the acceptance form. She knew that there wasn't any going back after this, taking a deep breath she filled in her details and ticked the appropriate box. Yes, Rachel Berry was officially heading to New York at the end of the summer. As she posted the heavy envelope she exhaled and felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

After that she threw herself into her school work and working towards Nationals. Kurt was thrilled that he had his loud, sometimes obnoxious best friend back, but he wouldn't have her any other way. She was demanding the spotlight more, ordering the rest of the club to pick up the pace, and shouting at Finn on numerous occasions because he was still struggling to pick up the most basic choreography. Blaine for his part was keeping a reasonable distance from her, and though she tried not to focus on him too much, she couldn't help noticing that he wasn't himself. His eyes didn't sparkle like they used to, her head told her that it wasn't her concern anymore, but her heart told her otherwise. On the surface she was coping well, but deep down she still missed Blaine and couldn't fill the gaping hole that he'd left behind.

* * *

><p>Nationals had crept up on New Directions quicker than any of them could have imagined, and before they knew it they were back in New York getting ready to compete. On their first morning everyone was filled with an air of excitement as Mr. Schuster had allowed them some free time to explore the beautiful city again. Kurt happily walked into the girl's room and rolled his eyes when he found Rachel still curled up on her bed.<p>

"Everyone's going site seeing, you want to come?" he asked her quietly as he sat down next to her, she shook her head as she felt the bed dip slightly and rolled away from him. Being here in the city had brought back memories that she wasn't ready to deal with. She and Blaine had planned out their time in New York as soon as they had found out that they were going to Nationals. They had talked about it for weeks, but now none of that was going to happen. She hadn't wallowed in such a long time, she'd been too focused on the upcoming competition, but now her heart had taken over.

"Rachel, you've been doing so well," Kurt sighed, prodding her side. Rachel closed her eyes tightly and shook her head, Kurt glanced at the rest of the girls as they continued to get ready, and they just shrugged, none of them taking much notice of Rachel's behavior.

"Just leave me here to wallow in peace, please Kurt?" she asked quietly, Kurt nodded and patted her shoulder gently, before following the rest of the girls out of the room. Rachel sighed quietly as she heard the door close behind her friends, before she pulled out Blaine's Dalton sweatshirt from underneath her pillow. In a moment of weakness she had taken it from her old shoebox and packed it into her suitcase, then late last night when she was feeling low she snuck it out of her case and into her bed. Somehow it comforted her, and eased her into a peaceful sleep. She felt ridiculous that she still allowed Blaine into her head like this; she had been trying so hard to move on, to forget all about him. But she just couldn't allow herself to fully let him go.

She wallowed in her bed for most of the morning, content to just stay here forever, or at least until she was required at rehearsals, and she would need to be there. Mr. Schuster just couldn't control New Directions the same way she could, and there was no way that she was losing Nationals again. But when her stomach started growling in desperate need for food, she knew that she had to move. Throwing the covers back she reached over and began rummaging in her case for something to wear, she knew that Kurt would have a fit if he saw what she was wearing, but she didn't care. She was tired of putting on a brave face, pretending that everything was okay, pretending that she no longer cared about Blaine. She tied her hair into a loose ponytail and headed in the direction of the hotel restaurant. It was pretty quiet inside and Rachel was more than relieved as she paid for her food and headed towards a table at the back of the room.

"Rachel?" He body froze entirely as she heard that oh too familiar voice behind her, she cringed inwardly, immediately regretting her decision not to bother about her appearance, she suddenly wished that she had taken Kurt up on his offer and gone sight seeing with the rest of New Directions, but she hadn't, and now she was stuck alone with him, and there was no way that she could avoid him now.

"I didn't think you'd be around," she mumbled as she slowly turned around to face him, "I thought you would have gone out with the others," Blaine nodded and smiled slightly, Rachel's heart beating considerably quicker than normal as he stared at her.

"I didn't feel like it," he shrugged, "What about you?"

"I wasn't in the mood this morning," she struggled to take her eyes off him, she knew it would probably cause her more hurt in the long run, for in this moment in time, she didn't care.

"But New York is _your _city Rachel, I thought you'd be out there taking everything in for when you move here," he laughed slightly but Rachel could tell that his heart wasn't really in it. She hated this, they'd never not been able to hold a conversation before, it was one of the many qualities that she loved about Blaine. She just wanted to pretend that everything was normal between them and the last few weeks had just been a terrible dream.

"So uh, you want to sit down?" Rachel blinked again as she realized that he too was carrying some food and nodded silently as he led her towards the table in the far corner. They sat down in relative silence and Rachel told herself to focus on the food in front of her, and not to dwell too much on Blaine, if he had moved on with his life, then she was determined to prove to him that she had done the same, even if her appearance told him otherwise.

"So, uh, how have you been?" he asked finally, Rachel gulped her eyes widened as she lifted them from her plate to meet his across the table. He smiled softly as he bit into his sandwich and Rachel felt her heart swell again. _Lie Rachel, no matter what he says, do NOT tell him the truth._

"Well, you know," she shrugged, "I've been concentrating on winning Nationals, I haven't really had much chance to focus on anything else, you?"

"Oh, well you know how it is," Blaine shrugged, his eyes refusing to meet hers, "I've been busy with finals and the extra Glee rehearsals that you demanded we all attend," he paused as his eyes shifted to meet hers again, "I miss you, Rachel,"

"You were the one who ended things, Blaine," Rachel stated, her tone cold as a lump appeared in her throat, Blaine nodded and reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, squeezing it gently. She could feel tears in the corner of her eyes as she closed them tightly, willing them not to give her emotional state away.

"I know I was," he sighed, "But that doesn't mean we still can't be friends," Rachel slowly shook her head and forced her eyes open, using her free hand to wipe away her tears.

"I can't," she whispered, Blaine bunched his eyebrows together in confusion as Rachel removed her hand from his grasp, "I've tried so hard to get over you, you have no idea how hard I've tried," she paused again as she got to her feet, "I just don't think I could cope with just being your friend, not after everything we've been through together."

"Rachel, I never meant to hurt you," Blaine stated, calmly as he got to his feet, following her as she walked through the restaurant and threw away her food.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I just be can't be around you right now, it's hurts too much," She walked into the hotel lobby and headed directly towards the elevator as she started crying loudly. She returned to her room and dived under the covers of her bed, clinging onto his Dalton sweatshirt as if it were the one thing that was keeping her alive.

Rachel and Blaine kept their distance for the next couple of days, as Rachel threw herself into rehearsals before the competition. Kurt had noticed that her behavior had changed again, but when he questioned her, she changed the subject and snapped at him to concentrate on the competition. What she had noticed though, was that when he wasn't busy rehearsing with the rest of New Directions, Blaine was talking in hushed tones with Mike and Sam. She noted the expressions on their faces as they spoke, every now and then Mike and Sam would glance at her before quickly returning their gaze back to Blaine. She would simply sigh and shake her head, trying to convince herself that they could talk about whatever they liked, as long as they helped New Directions to win, then she didn't care. Then before she knew it she was stood at the side of the stage in her costume getting ready to perform.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Kurt asked squeezing her shoulder just before the announcer called their name, Rachel nodded and took a deep breath before she took to the stage.

Standing in the middle of the stage she looked out at her audience, and audience that were there to here her sing and she felt nothing, all she felt was that constant longing for Blaine. Her head and heart were in constant battle with each other and Rachel was stuck in the middle. She tried to block it out as the music started playing in the background. She remembered when she had been given this song, she knew that she could win the competition by singing this song, then Blaine had ended things with her and she realized that the song was now reflecting her current situation. Mr. Schuster had offered to give the solo to Mercedes or Santana, fearing that it would be too much for her, and Rachel knew that they had been waiting for her to break down enough to willingly hand it over to them. But she was determined to be professional about this, now she wasn't so sure if she could get through the entire performance. She closed her eyes and she could only see Blaine staring back at her, her heart ached as she willed herself to continue without crying in a heap on the stage. She could feel the tears in the corner of her eyes as she opened them and stared out at the audience who were hanging on her every note.

"_Was I invading in on your secrets?_

_Was I too close for comfort?_

_You're pushing me out_

_When I wanted in_

_What was I just about to discover?_

_I got too close for comfort_

_Driving you home_

_Guess I'll never know."_

She held the final note as the audience jumped to their feet, applauding loudly for her, as the rest of New Directions took their position on the stage. She wiped her eyes and placed the mix back in its stand before taking her bow. When she turned around she noticed Blaine's eyes burning into her, she gave him a sad smile and took her position next to Noah, he dance partner for the final two numbers.

* * *

><p>New Directions took Nationals that year, and while everyone else was celebrating and hugging each other, Blaine and Rachel found themselves stood on the outside of the group as Mr. Schuster and Finn ran forward to collect their trophy. When they returned to their dressing room, everyone commended Rachel on her performance, congratulating her for using her emotions to really connect with the song, she'd just smiled at them and told them that she'd done it for team. She soon excused herself as they celebrations got too much for her, this wasn't how it was supposed to feel, she was supposed to be happy, she'd worked three years for this, three years of her life that she couldn't get back and now she couldn't even enjoy it. She closed her eyes as she leant against the wall, listening to New Directions loud celebrations filling the now deserted hallway.<p>

"Hi," Rachel's eyes snapped open as she stood up straight as Blaine hovered at her side, "You were, uh, you were really great out there today,"

"Thank you," Rachel mumbled, playing with a strand of hair that had escaped her headband, "I had a lot to work with," she stated before turning and heading back to their dressing room.

"Rachel wait!" She paused and slowly turned to face him, "I just – I hate things being like this between us."

"You hurt me Blaine," she stated calmly, "You hurt me more then I ever thought you could." She paused as he nodded along with her, his eyes filled with remorse,

"I'm so sorry, Rachel." His eyes began to cloud with tears as he stared at her.

"So am I, I'm sorry I ever allowed myself to fall for you. I'm sorry that I love you so much that it physically hurts to look at you right now. Goodbye Blaine," she held back her tears this time, as she turned to walk away from him, but she was pretty sure that she could hear him sobbing quietly behind her.

* * *

><p>It didn't come as a surprise that as soon as they touched down back in Lima, Puck announced that he was having a party to celebrate, and that everyone had to be there. Rachel had thought about calling off, the last few days had been more than what she was used to handling, and that had included all of the break ups she had endured being Finn throughout her Junior year, but Kurt had all but forced her to be there, assuring her that she needed to enjoy herself, that she had earned this. When she arrived the party was in full flow, Puck and Finn were busy concocting a range of drinks in the kitchen with Artie and Rory helping, the girls were in the garden dancing to the music that was playing loudly and Blaine was stood talking with Sam and Mike. Kurt ushered her into the kitchen where Puck handed her a drink, she didn't bother questioning what was in as she downed it.<p>

"Whoa, you might want to go easy there Berry," Puck laughed as he handed her another cup, she just glared at him and continued to down that one. Puck quirked an eyebrow at her as he gingerly handed over another cup before Kurt ushered her out to the garden and towards the girls.

She stood on the edge of them as they talked and danced, sipping at her drink as her eyes constantly flicked between her cup and Blaine. Once again he was talking in hushed tones to Sam and Mike, she noticed that Mike had pointed to her on more than one occasion. She glared at them as she finished her drink, maybe it was the alcohol that was fueling her actions because lord knows what Puck had actually put in there, but she suddenly found herself walking towards them.

"Rachel?" Kurt linked arms with her as she continued to walk, "What are you doing?"

"They're talking about me," she stated, never removing her eyes from the boys on the far side of the garden,

"Rachel, you're being insane, come and sit with us," Kurt smiled, Rachel turned her head and glared at him,

"Kurt Hummel, you let me go this instant!" she shouted, the music cut off immediately and Rachel whipped her head around to face Santana who was smirking at her.

"What? Things just got interesting," Rachel rolled her eyes and pushed Kurt aside before striding purposefully towards Blaine.

"You!" she shouted loudly, Blaine spun around to face her, Mike and Sam backing away slightly, "You're talking about me, is it not enough that you've broke my heart? Now you have to gloat about it to?" Blaine's eyes widened as he stared at Rachel.

"Rachel, you have it all wrong," Mike tried to reason, ignoring Sam's silent pleas at his side.

"No, I know you're talking about me, you've been talking and pointing the entire time we were in New York!" she was yelling now and vaguely aware that everyone was staring at her, but in her alcohol induced state, she didn't care, she glared at Blaine defiantly, urging him to answer her.

"Dude, you need to tell her," Sam mentioned quietly, stepping forward so he was in line with Mike again, Blaine winced slightly as Rachel's eyes shifted to Sam briefly.

"Tell me what?" Rachel demanded,

"Look, this obviously isn't helping anyone," Mike tried again, glancing at Kurt as slowly everyone had started to gather around, "Kurt why don't you take Rachel back over there, and we'll try and calm Blaine down?" Kurt nodded as he tried to take Rachel's arm, but she shrugged him off with more force.

"Will somebody please tell Berry what you were talking about, then we can all get on with our lives!" Santana stated loudly, Rachel could only imagine the expression on her face, but she was pretty grateful that finally someone was seeing things from her perspective.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but not here!" Blaine yelled, he reached out and tugged Rachel's hand, pulling her inside and into Puck's lounge. He closed the door behind them and Rachel fell into the couch, he took a deep breath to steady himself before turning back to face her. The angry expression on her face hitting him immediately, "The reason that we were talking about you, uh, Sam and Mike, they were trying to convince me to tell you the truth."

"The truth about what?" Rachel could feel her body fighting against the alcohol in her body as she sat up and desperately tried to focus on Blaine and everything he had to say.

"The real reason I ended things between us," Rachel felt her throat tighten as he sat down beside her, she gulped as he lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"You told me it was because we had run our course," Rachel stated, her voice barely a whisper as she diverted her eyes to the cup in her hands.

"I lied Rachel," Rachel lifted her head quickly and suddenly she felt sick, she got to her feet and tried to steady herself, before she started pacing across the room.

"Oh god, there's someone else isn't there? Oh god, do I know her? She's prettier than me isn't she?" she was getting hysterical now as she continued to pace, Blaine leapt to his feet and clasped her hands in his tightly, forcing her to face him.

"There is no one prettier than you Rachel, and there isn't anyone else, there never could be," he smiled softly and moved his thumb in small circles against her hand.

"Then why did you do it?" she asked quietly,

"You were going to New York at the end of summer, I wanted to set you free," he told her, Rachel shook her head and pushed him away.

"That's bullshit Blaine!" she snapped, her harsh tone snapping him back into reality, "I was going to wait for you! I was going to attend NYADA next year, when you could come to New York with me,"

"I know and that's why I had to end things!" Blaine shouted back and Rachel's body froze, she turned around slowly and felt like the world was moving in slow motion, she wasn't sure if it was the alcohol causing her to feel this way or Blaine's sudden confession.

"How did you know what? I've never told anyone that before," she asked slowly.

"I saw the documents on your desk, I also saw the pros and cons list for staying in Lima, the only pro on that list was me!" he paused and took in her expression again and sighed as he stepped forward, "I couldn't be the one to hold you back, but I knew that the only way that you'd leave Lima behind willingly was if you didn't have any ties here."

"That wasn't your decision to make Blaine," she was on the brink of tears again now, and was quickly deciding that maybe drowning her sorrows in alcohol probably hadn't been one of her finest ideas, "You broke my heart, for what? So you could get rid of me?"

"No! That's not what I meant!" Blaine shouted, "You're better than this town, hell you're better than Ohio! You deserve to be in New York, it's where you belong." He paused again as he tried to contain his frustration, this was the exact reason why he didn't want her to know the truth, he'd rather she hated him and pursued her life in New York, than having to go through this confusion, "I love you Rachel, that's why I had to let you go." The room fell silent, apart from Rachel's occasional sobs, Blaine was also crying now but he was trying not to show it as much as Rachel was, "I love you so much Rachel, letting you go was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm so sorry!."

"I really hate you Blaine Anderson, do you know that?" Rachel said eventually, through her tears, Blaine gulped and nodded as she stepped forward, he closed his eyes expecting a slap, it was no less than what he deserved. What he wasn't expecting was to feel her lips against his, those lips that he'd craved so long for. He opened his eyes slightly as he kissed her back; she moved her arms around his neck as he placed his hands on her hips. This hadn't been the reaction he'd been expecting, but he certainly wasn't complaining. She pulled away slightly and stared into his eyes, a small smile preying on her lips.

"Don't you dare do anything that stupid again!" she demanded before crashing her lips on top of his again, Blaine grinned into the kiss as he hitched her up and carried her over to the couch where they collapsed into a mass of limbs.

"It's okay people, Anderberry are back in business!" They laughed quietly as they heard Santana announce their reconciliation to rest of the group before Rachel pulled Blaine's face closer to hers again.


End file.
